The Ex Factor

Dig in!

Dig in!

What’s the protocol when it comes to destroying photos of exes? I was scrolling back through my iPhone the other day and stumbled upon a few photos of an ex of mine and was at a loss as to what to do with them. What are the rules around getting rid of photographic evidence of past disasters? Is it ok to throw someone into the trash? The evidentiary photos sent me on a journey down memory lane to the site of another photographic ex-disposal-session. This was way back in the day of glossy print photos that you could whack in a frame, stick up on your wall and gaze at dreamily whilst the object of your affections was stuck in his bedroom doing homework. Again, a moment of not knowing the disposal protocol.

As a kid I’d read about certain indigenous cultures believing that photographs captured a part of a person’s soul, and I think that superstition might have rubbed off on me. The idea of throwing the photos into the bin was completely abhorrent to me. Not least because I was in the photos as well. How could I throw my soul in the bin? Burning the photos wasn’t an option either. It just felt too destructive. And Satanic. My ex wasn’t that bad that I wished him to burn in the fires of Hell for all eternity. Maybe for a little of it, but not all of it! So I resorted to a photographic burial. It felt more organic to make worm food out of the two of us.

What about memories of exes? How do you deal with those? Can you simply switch them off? What about when you hear that song that you used to listen to together? Or travel to places you’d been together? Or when you drive past his house – not in a stalkery way, but because you have to bloody well get where you’re going, and there’s no other way to get there – do you avert your eyes to stop the memories flooding in? Or is that just like inviting in a trojan horse?

And how about when they sneak back into your dreams? Is there no privacy, I ask? No lock that can’t be unpicked? I dreamed of another ex from my oh-so-joyful school days last night whom I was happily snogging. But he’d been eating fish and chips, so he had greasy flake-flavoured kisses! What’s with that?!

Thanks for the Memories

There’s something fishy going on

You can bury a photo, but what about memories and dreams? I’ve seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, so I know what can happen if you try to erase your memories of someone. Sometimes they come back. And as any good Stephen King novel can attest, that might not be such a happy scenario. So tell me, what should I do with these damn photos on my iPhone? Especially now that digital is forever. And ever. And ever?

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6 thoughts on “The Ex Factor

  1. Hee Hee – well my exes are from so long ago they are more interesting to remember than threatening. The only photographs I have desires to mulch are those particularly unflattering ones of myself – like a ghastly one of my 15 year old self with braces! Yikes! – but I keep it to keep me humble.
    (*makes note to self – leave clause in will instructing elimination of all embarrassing photographs)

    • Dear God, I had ghastly braces photos of myself too. But they were much better than the ghastly buck toothed photos from earlier days! No clauses needed for me, those photos are long gone. Thank God for the Sydney smile! 😀

  2. Dear Kylie,
    What to do? Live a good life!
    Work towards realising your noblest aspirations. This is the path to true happiness which is characterized by the stillness and peace of equanimity.
    With love,

    Ben

    • Thank you Ben,
      I’m pleased to say I live a pretty good life, and I’m finally working towards the realisation of my aspirations instead of staying stuck in the fear of failure.
      A little more peace and stillness wouldn’t hurt, though!
      I didn’t realise you were blogging about the Savage Land you live in. Are you planning any more posts?
      Much love,
      Kylie

      • Hi Kylie,
        I haven’t blogged for quite a while – around the time I went to Myanmar three years or more ago.
        I am thinking of getting back into it. In part, my photo blog “stranger in a strange land” www. Benoloughlin.vsco.co is really my blog without words. An attempt to share my vision and experience of this extraordinary place. Part of the issue that I have is that while I am staying up at Cradle, my internet access is limited to my phone. It has the tendency on focusing my mind on excess data usage charges and hence my involvement on online discussion fora has all but dropped off. Maybe it could focus my blog posts to micro-bursts – and that could be a good thing too.
        Much love

        Ben

      • Hi Ben,
        I like the idea of micro-bursts of blogging. I think it could be like a literary curry that allows the flavour of your experiences to intensify with time. Go for it. I’d love to read it! Especially if your stories are as stunning as your photography. Those kayaking photos out on Dove Lake are absolutely divine. I’m envious you live in such pristine beauty. If there is a god, you’re definitely in his/her/its country.
        Love,
        Kylie

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