What a Craptacular Week!

Nothing but a load of trash!

So, was your week as rubbish as mine? My week was not the week from Hell. But it was pretty damn close. So much so that I haven’t been able to write anything here. Since the day when the Malaysian Airline plane was shot down, it seemed to me that there was absolutely nothing worth writing about. Why write anything when all that’s going on around you is one horror after another? People hurting other people. People hurting the planet. People hurting themselves. Rapes. Murders. Wars. Insane Governments. Sun flares. Sink holes. You name it, last week it was getting up in my face.

It got me down because to add to that my day job, my home and my relationship status (or lack-thereof) are all in serious need of an overhaul. But I didn’t want to bitch and moan and dump my misery on you. I don’t want to censor myself, and I want to keep my writing as real as possible. I write this blog for my own pleasure as much as I write it for yours so I made a pact with myself over the weekend to admit to you and myself that yes, last week was utter shite. Sometimes life is bleak. Sometimes you’re powerless to change the ghastly circumstances around you. But just like lightning things can change in a flash. And it can be something really simple that makes that change. For me it was this weekend.

From Drab

From Drab…

 

I awoke on Saturday to another miserable cold, rainy day, and toddled off to see my shrink (see, here’s me not censoring myself – depression and anxiety? Me too!) I had a really great and inspiring talk with her, then toddled further down the road to have brunch with my lovely friend Jini. By 10.30am I was already inspired, I was actually enjoying my cold walk in the drizzling rain, I had money in my wallet for a delicious meal at a nice cafe at the beach with one of my most favourite people in the world. Hello, I was waking up (again) to the fact, that my life is in fact, pretty bloody good.

A few more hours of inspirational creative discussions with Jini, who, dear reader, is an amazing writer – watch this space, I see a thrilling novel on the horizon – and the sun had started to shine as the rainclouds quickly dispersed. How good is mid-winter sunshine?! Seriously, when you feel awful, go stand in it for a few minutes and soak it up. Sunshine is joy in the form of heat and light.

An evening of laughter and bad movies with some other amazing friends – Krystyna and Marc – confirmed the goodness of life. (Snowpiercer is an awesome movie name, don’t you think?!) With more sunshine and coffee and beautiful scenery than you can shake a fist at in Manly today; phone calls with friends and family topped up the weekend, and my joy tank is now refilled. So the simple things – friends, family, sunshine, scenery, and lots of coffee – were all it took to bring me back to joy.

To Fab!

To Fab!

As I went for my evening run tonight, I made the commitment to myself to continue writing this blog as a form of enjoyment for me and for you. I won’t hide the fact that sometimes I feel like my life is crapola. I refuse to wallow in it either. I’ll be focusing on the good bits. Because life is full of them. Sometimes you’ve got to use a magnifying glass, but they’re there. It will give me the greatest pleasure to know that you’ve read my words and smiled, or chuckled, snorted, guffawed, or had one of those really big blasts of air from your nostrils where you freak out that something might have gone flying from it and hit your neighbour in the face. Belly laughs are great, and comments on the post are even better.

Remember, lots of shit makes your garden bloom with vigour. Imagine what a shitty week’s done for your life. Wishing you a SPECTACULAR week!

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A Zed & Two Noughts

I’ll have you all for breakfast!

I vaguely remember watching A Zed and Two Noughts in my teens with my aunty Danielle. She was the one who put me onto the wonderful world of Peter Greenaway. It all started with The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. Greenaway has a way with food, lust, and decadence (with an emphasis on decay, and he belts you over the head with it in A Zed and Two Noughts). I always wondered where his wonderful imagery and film titles came from and if I’d ever have the ability to imagine such things for myself. Looking back at the stories I’ve written, I can see that there have been a few leaves taken out of Greenaway’s books – just ask Prospero. These writerly recipes I’ve only shared with a handful of friends, and I’m feeling the urge to share them with the greater world at large now.

But what if the world doesn’t like the way my writing tastes?

That’s the question I’m asking myself today. I love a quirky, clever take on the world, and a film title like A Zed and Two Noughts is all that and more. But if I push myself to come up with a quirky, clever take on the world (and Z words) I come up with zero. What do you think about quirky takes on the world? Do you like them or do your prefer a conservative version of reality? What is “reality” anyway? Is it really real? Or are we living in some kind of Matrixy delusion? I don’t know. But what I do know is that A Zed and Two Noughts is about a lot of dead things rotting. And it has a really rotten ending. Literally.

Samantha Nolan-Smith has a really lovely take on life and reality. She’s made a few interesting recommendations in her blog lately that I’m putting into action. The first one is meditating on two options; reaching a fork in the road then travelling down the paths that each take in your meditation until you find your best direction. This is a good one! Another tip is when you feel like you’ve reached the upper limits of good stuff in your life, like when things have been going really well and then you get sick, or your money stops flowing, or you have a big dirty fight, and it stops your joy in its tracks. At these times, it’s useful to ask yourself what good stuff is wanting to come through to you, but you’re blocking from your life. Then invite it in.

I'm gonna be meditating on this one for some time

I’m gonna be meditating on this one for some time

What good stuff are you blocking from your life? I know I’ve been blocking being the controller of my own destiny, being an entrepreneur, a writer, financially secure, and a whole bunch of other really cool stuff. Methinks it’s time to get on the cushion and meditate the crap out of the situation, then say “yes” to letting more juicy good stuff in. What do you do when you realise you’re getting in the way of your own best life?

As you stand at the crossroads of your day, remember, it’s a jungle out there. But we have a choice as to how we view that jungle. If we want we can choose to see it as a hostile environment; a battle to the death, our broken remains left out to rot. Or we can choose to see it as a place of mystery and wonder; a place that offers up all sorts of beauty, life, food and medicine for the soul. So today, don’t just ask yourself how your jungle looks. Ask yourself if you’re ready to be the king of it, then go sink your teeth into some tasty treats!